Mouse Story .

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered -
he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard,
the mouse proclaimed the
warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap
in the house!" The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and
said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you
but it is of no consequence to me.
I cannot be bothered by it." The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a
mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said,
"I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse,
but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.
Be assured you are in my prayers." The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a
mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse.
I'm sorry for you,
but it's no skin off my nose." So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected,
to face the farmer's mousetrap-- alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house --
like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the
darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake
whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife.
The farmer rushed her
to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup,
so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's
main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued,
so friends and neighbors came
to sit with her around the clock.
To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.
So many people came
for her funeral, the farmer
had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness. So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you,
remember --
when one of us is threatened,
we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life.
We must keep an eye out
for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

Coffee cups of life

A group of friends, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee in most cases, just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups……and then began eyeing each other's cups.”

Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the Coffee, not the Cups......

So Enjoy your Coffee & Have a Nice Day!!!

What do women really want ?

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals.

So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone:

The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester.He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the Kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch.

She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur's closest friend!Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden,but Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?"

She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life."

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared.And so it was.The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.

But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch,

She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.

"Which would you prefer? She asked him.

"Beautiful during the day ... or at night?"

Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,

But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!Or, Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?

But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this?) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?


What Lancelot chose, is given below:


BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question,

He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time.Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.


Now... what is the moral to this story?


The moral is...

1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!

2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember:

IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY" !!! :-)

Scientific theory re-written.

These are answers, some students have written in their exams...

• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
• The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
• When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
• Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
• Clouds are high flying fogs.
• I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it,and that is the important thing.
• Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
• Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
• Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
• H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
• "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
• "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
• "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e,i, o and u."
• "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana .."
• Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa .."
• "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
• "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

Appointment

Forgiving or punishing the terrorists is left to God.
But fixing their appointment with God is our responsibility

- Indian Army



Forgiving or punishing the Developer is left to Manager.
But,fixing their appointment with Manager is our responsibility

- Tester

That is me before Surgery

After a long night of making love, boyfriend notices a photo of another man in the photo-stand besides the bed.
He begins to worry. Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then!!! ???" he demands........
"That's me before the surgery."

The Mechanic and the Doctor

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ....."Try to do it when the engine is running".

That’s a marvelous answer. But more marvelous than that is our God, who made this engine run.

Foot Prints - Irony God and Project Manager

One day a man having conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" To which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you"

Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM, "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which my PM answered, "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you... you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times I was "sitting on your head!!!"

Resignation letter

A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucritive and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon,have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".

I am ofcourse retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Ofcourse, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the compnay (since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City. Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me.

Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 Rs entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command. I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely invest them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course). Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company.

Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,

S. W. Engineer

"PS". Hands still trembling, the Boss read: PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this. My respect and Best Regards to you!

Sardarji Jokes

Sardar was not able to stop laughing when he saw a truck being pulled by another truck… Asked why?

Sardar said à Foolish drivers using two trucks to carry a rope

Do sardar bank lootne gaye per Gun bhool gaye, fir bhi Bank loot liya.. Kaise?

After all Manager bhi Sardar tha .. bola

koi baat nahi, I trust u, u can show me the Gun tomorrow

Interviewer : what is your qualification?

Sardar: Sir iam Phd.

Interviewer: What do you mean by Phd!!

Sardar Passed High School with Difficulty.

Sardarji and chemistry.

Prof: What is the chemical symbol of Barium?

Sardar: Ba.

Prof: What is the chemical symbol of Sodium?

Sardar: Na.

Prof: What happens when 1 atom of barium and 2 atoms of Sodium combine?
Sardarji thinks for a moment and here comes the reply "BANANA !!!!!!!"

Sardarji The detective
DETECTIVE SARDAR

A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first Singh answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?

Q: Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?

Ans: If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would Cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day's Tremor and eventually cause the earth's crust to break apart and float into space.

This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time.

Twenty Great One Liners...

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address book.

Share Market Funda ....

Once upon a time in a village a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs. 10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys went out in the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their effort he announced that now he would buy at 20 rupees.


This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to 25 and the supply of monkeys became so that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business his assistant would now buy on behalf of the man.



In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at 35 and when the man comes back you can sell it to him for 50."

The villagers queued up with all their saving to buy the monkeys.
Phir na woh aadmi mila na us ka assistant... Sirf bandar hee bandar.....

DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER...

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and all on Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. All doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........

Just then the clock struck 11...

and then......



Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and UNPLUGGED the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner !!!!!!!!!!!

Make life by being proactive...

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.

When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?
Scroll down to read....
ANSWER:
The husband just said "I am with you, Darling".
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child.

What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. " A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY This story is really worth reading. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

The windows sound muscisian

Nice link..... The below link plays a fash presentation which makes
music using the soundrec.exe... A cool link

http://www.cothrun.com/gallery/albums/Misc/windows_mix.swf

Unbelievable Nariyal Ka Ped (Coconut tree)

Always sharpen your skills

We always need to sharpen our skills. Else we will be like the below wood cutter.....

I was loaded with forwards.......

I was loaded with forwards but and these forwards were too good. So I thought reading and deleting them wouldnt be good on my part. When ever I wanted them I could retrieve them and share them with my friends. So I created this blog and I will be putting the name of the person who forwarded it to me and not the person who first created as this would too tedious.